Is it just me, or is it a bit weird seeing the Bitmap Brothers and Sensible Software teaming up, like when Sega abandoned making consoles and started writing software for Nintendo? Anyway, here's Speedball 2 Evolution!
And we should start with the important thing – it's the best Speedball 2 ever.
Still missing Elite after all these years? Want to play an Elite-style game skewed a bit more towards fighting but still with trading and levelling up and stuff? Preferably one that looks stunning (especially on a Retina display), controls really nicely, but (temporarily) costs absolutely nothing?
Man! What were the odds?
Not least because it's called "Rise Of The Robot Dogs". But mostly because it's great, and it looks a lot better moving than it does in stills. Although if you look at this still and don't want to play the game immediately, you're weird in the head and probably love Hitler.
It's free today, you can get it here, and at the time of writing I have the world high-score. DEFEAT ME IF YOU CAN AND DARE.
Ladies and gentlemen, the developers of Bouncy Adventure proudly present their best attempt at getting you interested in their game:
Seriously, help me – I want to understand. What is WRONG with people?
WE ARE LITERALLY THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS, PEOPLE.
My Twitter feed has been picking up a lot of indie-coder followers recently. This review is intended purely as a service for them (and for anyone thinking of becoming one), because it contains several quite spectacular object lessons in how to get almost everything about videogame design disastrously wrong and totally ruin what could otherwise have been a really nice game.
Its name is Helmet Hero, and it's not because the developer is a complete and utter hero, if you get what I'm saying.
Please make this happen, somebody.
If we ever want to see fat greedy bankers hanging from lamp-posts, as surely we all do, this is the surefire route to success and thereby to a better world.
(And if you don't know why, this is what you need.)
But what? Alert viewer M. Dale CHALLENGES YOU.
The latest ABC circulation figures for videogames mags are out, and there are few surprises in the largely-depressing list of numbers.
Well, except maybe one.
Man, there certainly are an awful lot of hormones flying around the room in the videogaming community at the moment.
Months behind the zeitgeist as ever, I've only just caught up on the whole "Dickwolves" business. If you don't know what that means, catch up here. Just be ready to lose any last shreds of hope in humanity you might have had.
As we all know, videogame plotlines are the gamer's greatest source of embarrassment. It's hard to hold your head up in polite society and defend gaming as a pastime when, should someone at a fancy dinner party ask you to describe what your current fave is about, you have to mumble something about dragons and wizards and elves and goblins.
Which is, of course, the way it should be – orc nerds SHOULD be ashamed to show their faces among decent people who grew out of Tolkien (and sub-sub-sub-Tolkien) when they were 12. But now there's Dungeon Raid!
Alert viewers will know that WoSblog isn't averse to banging on about how you make more money by selling stuff dirt-cheap. But even now, people come up with excuses, so we like to keep piling on the evidence. Here's some more.
Street Fighter IV for iOS recently slashed its price by a breathtaking 90% overnight, from £5.99 to 59p. Within 48 hours its position in the overall Top-Grossing chart (that's the list of all apps, not just games) instantly rocketed from 116 to 2. Coincidence or magic? You decide. But that's not all.
Just got back from Bath's opulent Guildhall, where the Deputy Prime Minister held a "question and answer session" with 200 voters. For most of it, he was stood no more than 18 inches in front of me, in such a manner that I could easily have kicked him hard in the nuts without even getting out of my chair.
I must report, with dishonour, that I failed you.
Ask a thousand people what the best videogame of all time is and you'll only get back a tiny handful of names (including variants thereof) – Super Mario, Half-Life, Grand Theft Auto, Call Of Duty, Naughty Ones, all the usual suspects. But ask the same thousand people what the worst game ever is and you'll get a thousand different answers.
It's time someone stood up and made a decision.
Does anyone recognise these two fine figures of chaps puzzling over how to deal with their recycling backlog? You know them well.
If you can't work it out from the plentiful clues found in the pic, click below to reveal the SHOCKING TRUTH!
WoSland – now at wosland.podgamer.com
