You've got until May, Treasure. If it's not here by the end of May then Spring is officially over and I'm going to COME DOWN THERE AND PERSONALLY BEAT YOU ALL TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING HAMMER. But anyway.

When manually restoring one-by-one the contents of my old 360's hard drive (because the transfer cable I'd bought was a useless piece of junk), I was mildly surprised to notice that I hadn't actually got round to buying the full version of an Indie game I'd recently referenced in another piece, only the demo, so I swiftly put that right because it's ace. It's called Crosstown.

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I have today extrapolated that at current rates, by around the 18th of June the daytime temperature in Bath will be a minimum of 79 degrees Celsius.

And that by early August, everyone will finally have noticed that the planet was recently dragged off course by a passing comet and is currently heading irreversibly into the Sun. I can see no other rational explanation, or outcome.

"Interview body language experts agree that the less you move your arms and hands about the more confident and in control you are."
- On Using Body Language During Interviews

You probably don't know who this man is. You're missing out.

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Seriously – it was supposed to be out last November, then got delayed until "Spring". IT'S SPRING NOW! IT'S LIKE THE FRICKING KALAHARI OUTSIDE! GET THE BLOODY SHITTING BASTARD HELL ON WITH IT! But anyway.

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself how astonishingly lucky we fans of proper arcade videogames have it in this generation. Back in the 8-bit and 16-bit days, arcade conversions were most often nothing but pale shadows of their coin-op counterparts. From the 32-bit era on they were often better than the real thing, but cost £40 a pop. Nowadays, you can get a reality-plus port of After Burner Climax in your home for three and a half quid.

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WHERE THE FUCKING HELL IS BANGAI-O HD? But anyway.

Having finally got my new Xbox 360 up and running (having had to replace my old Premium which finally gave in to RROD a few weeks ago), I've been buying some new stuff to give my eyes an occasional break from staring at the little iPhone screen. First up is the fairly splendid Infinity Danger.

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Sometimes it's good to remind yourself of knowledge that has, for one reason or another, temporarily slipped out of your mind.

Today, I've been remembering that there still exists a company that's even more hatefully inept, and filled with even more absolute loathing for its unfortunate customers, than Apple. It's been a while.

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If you're anything like me, you've probably been spending anything up to 0.2% of your spare time recently wondering how (or if) you're going to cast your vote in the AV referendum in a month's time. Because on the face of it, it looks like a lose-lose choice.

"If only there was some way we could improve this country's useless, broken mockery of democracy AND kick Nick Clegg's face off at the same time", is, if you're like me, what you've probably been thinking. But maybe there is.

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